Monday, December 20, 2004

Happy Holidays from Grouchy Golf Blog

Well, I'm going to take a much needed break from this golf blog to enjoy some of the balmy weather here in Los Angeles. It won't be a White Christmas here, but I'd much rather have a "Sunny" Christmas in T-shirts and shorts each and every year. I lived on the east coast for about 3 years so I know that people who claim to want a White Christmas are just trying to make something positive out of a miserable situation. I think my sociology professor called this "cognitive dissonance."

Here's what a White Christmas means to me:
  • Freezing your arse off
  • Layering and bundling, but the cold still finds the smallest opening to freeze your arse off
  • Staying indoors and going stir crazy
  • Sliding out of control on the icy roads
  • Astronomical heating bills
  • And most of all, no golf
Anyway, I plan to play a couple of local So. California courses with some friends that are visiting for the holidays. I may also venture out to Vegas for some cooler climate golf and some Texas Hold'em...

I will return to golf blog again in the first week of 2005. Best wishes to all.

Monday, December 13, 2004

The World In Tiger Wood's Paw Again?


Congrats to Tiger on winning his Target World Challenge this past weekend. His new swing finally looks like it's working as he hit some unbelievable shots. To the left is a pic of Tiger and the winning hardware.

Honestly, I don't think I've ever seen an uglier trophy in my life. It looks like it came straight out of a Liberace garage sale. It depicts a young tiger with the world in the palm of its paw. Gee, what do you think that represents? I'm just relieved that Craig Stadler doesn't host any golf tournaments. A statue of a walrus would be just too much to take for this golf blog writer.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Q-School: Golf Hell On Earth?

I used to believe that if I could play one sports professionally, I would choose golf. I thought, what a great life. You get paid to play the best courses in the world, the threat of injury is virtually non-existent and you can play professionally well into your 50s.

But there are some serious drawbacks that make pro golf really only attractive for the truly elite. The primary reason is that you must qualify to play on tour every year. Sure, there are many ways to qualify, but that kind of pressure weighs on most players their whole careers.

The most dreaded way to qualify for the PGA Tour is the PGA Tour Qualifying Tournament, better known as "Q-School." No sporting event makes or breaks people's careers like this 6-round test. I don't really follow Q-School, but I do remember watching it four years ago. I remember watching an unknown golfer named Tim O'Neal cruising through the tournament. On the final hole, he needed only a bogey to secure his PGA card. Tragically, he made triple-bogey. That's when I knew how cruel this game can be.

This year O'Neal tried once more in Q-School. This time he needed a birdie on the final hole to secure his PGA card. He had a 15 foot birdie putt. He pushed it wide right. That's when I knew I'd rather be a pro baseball player.

Monday, November 29, 2004

Tiger Woods Just Can't Win - On and Off the Golf Course

In the November 26, 2004 issue of GolfWorld, Ron Sirak wrote an interesting article titled, "A Bad Week in Sports." In this article, one of the items that Mr. Sirak takes issue is Tiger's lack of attendance at Charlie Sifford's induction into the World Golf Hall of Fame. Charlie Sifford became the first African-American to join the World Golf Hall of Fame and so Sirak feels that Tiger should have been there to pay his respects. Sirak writes, "Tiger Woods should have been there. His videotaped message failed to make up for the fact he opted for a big-bucks appearance fee in Asia instead."

Well Ron, FYI, Tiger isn't entirely African-American. In fact, twice as much Asian blood courses through his veins than African blood. Tiger calls himself, "Cablinasian", to describe his Caucasian-Black-Indian-Asian racial composition. Does Tiger have an obligation to appear at every golf milestone achieved by a member of his racial group? That's just plain ridiculous. Last year, Hisako Higuchi was the first Asian golfer to become a member of the World Golf Hall of Fame. Funny, I don't remember Ron chastizing Tiger for not attending that ceremony.

I think that Tiger did exactly the right thing by sending a videotaped message to Mr. Sifford's induction ceremony. I figure that a videotaped message constitutes about 25% of an in-person appearance, or roughly the same percentage that Tiger is African.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Golf Role Models?

There was once a time, not long ago, when professional atheletes were revered as great role models for young people. Larry Bird, Wayne Gretzky, Joe Montana, and Cal Ripken Jr. all exhibited excellent sportsmanship and behavior on and off the playing field. Unfortunately, such individuals have now been replaced with less than savory characters. From the sexual misbehavior of Mark Chmura and Kobe Bryant, to the pugilistic propensity of Ron Artest and Latrell Sprewell, to the murder accusations of Ray Lewis and Rae Carruth, there is moral void in sports today.

Golf is no different, but on a smaller scale. Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, Lee Trevino are some of the good role models of yesteryear. Likewise, they have now been supplanted with the meglamania and whining of Tiger Woods, the greed of Phil Mickelson, and the cheating incidents of Vijay Singh.

So where are the good athelete role models today? How about in women's sports? Mia Hamm, Lisa Leslie and Annika Sorenstam are good candidates. But then there's the case of Denmark’s Mianne Bagger. She or he, is the first transsexual to play professional golf on the Ladies European Tour. On second thought, maybe we should look for role models outside of professional sports...

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

XTreme Speed Golf

I live in Los Angeles where playing golf can be an excruciatingly long ordeal. My guess is that an average round here takes about 5 1/2 hours.

In my search for a solution to this problem, I've come across something called XTreme Golf. Basically, it combines running with golf. The objective is simple: Shoot the lowest score possible in the least amount of time. In XTreme Golf, competitors jog or run between holes and whack the ball with nary a practice swing. It's all about sharp skills, quick thinking and cardiovascular fitness (all things not needed to write a golf blog). All of this produces sub-hour rounds of golf.

I've seen video of XTreme Golf, and it looks interesting. Unfortunately, I only run from things...like pit bulls, bill collectors, ex-girlfriends, cops, etc.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

SwingVision - Briny Baird Iron

I found some pics of Briny Baird hitting an iron off the tee. He doesn't possess the greatest of swings, but these images illustrate how irons should be swung with the club approaching the ball on a slightly descending path. Notice that the hands are ahead of the ball with a bowed and supinated left wrist at impact and that the club strikes the ground after impact with the ball. These are fundamental concepts for proper ball striking.
 
 
 

Here's the video!

Monday, November 01, 2004

Vijay Singh Practices Hard. So What?

Congrats to Vijay Singh for shooting a 6-under 65 on Sunday to win the Chrysler Championship. It's his 9th win of 2004 and the $900,000 1st-prize made him the first in PGA Tour history to pass the $10 million mark in one season. Yes, he's playing great, but if I hear another golf commentator say that Vijay's the hardest worker in golf, I'll wrap my Cleveland lob wedge around his neck (or at least force them to read my golf blog).

Vijay may work harder than any other PGA pro, but so what? It's not like the guy is digging trenches for a living. He's playing golf. I think that if it were somehow guaranteed that you would play golf as well Vijay if you simply practiced as much as him, most golfers would jump at the opportunity. I know, sure as hell, that I would. Who wouldn't?

However, Vijay has never been a golfer that I've really liked. It's probably because I can never forget about his cheating and deadbeat past. It's funny how nobody ever mentions that Vijay was suspended indefinitely by the Southeast Asia Golf Federation for attempting to alter his scorecard at the Indonesian Open in 1985 in Jakarta. Also, does anyone remember Vijay being banned from playing the PGA tour in Australia because he failed to pay off his debts?

When you get banned from one professional golf tour, it can be filed away as a misunderstanding. But to get banned from two, that's almost criminal. If Vijay weren't playing such god-like golf, I wonder how long it would take for him to get bounced from the PGA Tour.

It's funny how attaining sports stardom can make heroes out of some of the biggest jerks.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Energy Bars for Golf

A typical round at my home course lasts at least 5 hours. Unless you've had a Thanksgiving dinner before you play, you're bound to get hungry out on the course.

Rather than chow down a crusty 2-day old hot dog at the turn, I find it better to eat an energy bar or two. Over the years, I've tried almost every energy bar sold at retail. I don't know much about the comparative nutritional content of these bars, but I do know what my taste buds tell me: most energy bars taste like chocolate covered chalk.

However, there are a few energy bars that taste great. I think the best tasting bars are made by Promax. In fact, I like them better than regular candy bars. My favorite flavors are the Double Fudge Brownie, Black Forest Cake and Chocolate Peanut Crunch. If you haven't tried them yet, try the Black Forest Cake. I guarantee that you'll like it. If not, send me the wrapper and I'll refund your money.

I also like Snickers Marathon bars. They taste good, but don't seem to be quite as filling.

That's about it. Other bars may give you more protein, vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, yada yada yada. But with golf, do you need all that? Nah. Just choose the bar that tastes great and more filling. Also, be sure to wash it down with a cold beer of your choice. Great for writing a golf blog too. Just the beer, that is.

Monday, October 18, 2004

SwingVision - Ernie Els Driver

I found some SwingVision pics of Els hitting driver off the tee. They illustrate how woods should be swung with a "sweeping" motion. In other words, with woods, the club needs to approach the ball on an ascending path.



Hitting irons is just the opposite. With irons, the club needs to approach the ball on a descending path. This was previously illustrated with Tiger Woods' SwingVision pics.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Tournament Golf - Gallery Help

A while ago, I was playing golf with my friend Anthony and he hit his tee shot Tiger right out of bounds.

After several minutes of looking for his ball, he emerged empty-handed. He promptly reached into his bag for a new Pro V1 and dropped it near the area where his ball entered OB.

I asked him, "So, aren't you supposed to go back and hit a ball from the tee?"
"Nah, I'll just drop from here," he said, looking for a yardage marker.
"So you're just going to take a penalty stroke?"
"Nope."
"But you went OB. If you're not going to re-tee, you should at least take a penalty stroke."
"Dude, if we were playing in a tournament, there would be a gallery over here," gesturing in the direction of the OB. "My ball would have hit the gallery and bounced back in bounds."

I was speechless and could only respond with a look of bewilderment. I'll have to remember that one the next time I go OB.

Monday, October 04, 2004

Golf and Message Boards

Some of the most useful and free sites on the Internet are message boards. They allow you to find information about almost anything through people with expertise or interest in that subject. Having computer problems? Go to the AnandTech Message Board. Feeling anxious and you don't know why? Consult the WebMD Message Board.

Using these sites is a piece of cake. Typically, there is a simple and brief registration process to become a member. Once a member, you have the ability to post topics to the board for other members to respond. Likewise, you can respond to other members' topics.

So of course there are message boards related to golf. These sites cover just about everything golf-related: swing tips, club reviews, course reviews, and just plain tour gossip. Like golf blogs, there are a handful of golf message boards out there, but I have only discovered two worth visiting.

So far, my favorite is Free Golf Info Forums. They boast over 10,000 registered users who have made nearly 1 million posts. Definitely check this site out.

The other site is Golf Rewind Forums. This site is similar to the other one, but there are only about 800 registered members. Also, the members seem to be a little more "uptight" than others. Case in point, I maintain the same "avatar", or identification graphic, on all the message boards that I belong. Here it is:

However, after several weeks of using this avatar on Golf Rewind Forums, the moderator sends me a message that several members find my avatar "offensive." I was told to change my avatar or I would be kicked out. So I changed my avatar to this:

For some reason, this avatar was not deemed offensive and I was allowed to stay. Go figure.

P.S. Other great golf message boards that I've found include BombSquadGolf.com and GolfWRX. These board specialize in golf equipment discussions, especially the equipment specially made for golf professionals. Definitely check them out as they have quickly become my favorites.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Golfers, Leave That Flag In!

Ever since I started playing golf, I didn't quite understand why people took out the flagstick when they were off the green. Whenever golf announcers saw a pro pulling out the flag when off the green, they would always comment that the golfer was trying to hole it. But they would never offer any logical reasons.

I could understand wanting to pull the pin if it wasn't straight in, but not otherwise. To me it makes sense that you would want the stick in the hole to use as a backboard if the ball approached the hole too fast. However, I didn't question the widely-held pin-pulling practice since golfers much more accomplished than myself believed in it.

Thankfully, Dave Pelz, the mad scientist of golf, researched the effects of the flagstick on balls approaching the hole. He finally set the record straight, "Leave the flagstick in whenever the Rules allow, unless it is leaning so far toward you that the ball can't fit." I can finally sleep at night and write a golf blog without worry.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Michelle Wie's Ernie Els Swing

We all know about the incredible feats of the wunderkid, .

Her full swing is the truly amazing thing about this golf phenom. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that she already possesses the best full-swing of any woman today. She just needs to work on her short game and putting to start winning on a consistent basis.

But how does her swing compare to those on the PGA? Quite well, actually. I'm no swing expert, but I would argue that Wie's swing is more mechanically sound than most PGA pros. In fact, Wie's swing compares very well to that of Ernie Els:

Ernie is already known as the "Big Easy" and Michelle is being known as the "Big Wiesy" for her similar swing. Not a big surprise, since they are both pupils of David Leadbetter.

Update
: See the video here!

Monday, September 13, 2004

Phil Mickelson and the Dark Side of Golf

If you're a loyal reader of this golf blog (that's you mom), you'll know that I've never been a fan of . Nor have I been a fan of .

So it's only appropriate that the two have joined forces. Word going around is that Mick tried to renege on his multi-year contract with The Acushnet Co. (parent of Titleist, FootJoy, etc.) just like David Duval did in 2001. Phil demanded more money based on his success this year with his first major win. Instead of feeling indebted to the company that developed the tools to produce his first major win, Mick felt that Acushnet owed him.

So Mr. B-Cups bailed out on Acushnet and promptly inked a much more lucrative contract with Callaway. Rumors estimate that Callaway will pay Phil somewhere between $3 - $6 million more per year than the Acushnet deal. My old math teacher always used to say, "greed is a sickness" and it seems that Mick has come down with a very big case of it. However, Phil would rather have you believe that he signed with Callaway for their equipment. In a press release, Phil proclaimed "to help me achieve my ultimate goal of becoming the No. 1 player in the world, I felt it was necessary to switch to the exciting new driver and golf ball technology from Callaway Golf."

It's clearly evident that Darth Mick has now fully embraced the Dark side.
Is this the final act of Phil's long pattern of self-absorption and idiocy? Not a chance. Look for Phil to resume his climb from #3 to the top of ESPN's "Worst Choke Artists." I think that it would only be fair that Callaway reneges on Phil when his game tanks. Somehow I think that will happen sooner than later.

But kudos to Acushnet for taking a stand and not succumbing to another money grubber's demands. Acushnet has a long reputation for its commitment to produce the highest quality golf equipment from head to toe. By rebuffing Phil, Acushnet sends a message that no golfer is larger than the company or its products. On the other hand, Acushnet is known for its generosity. When news surfaced that Moe Norman, the legendary ball-striker, teetered on the brink of financial ruin, Acushnet stepped in and offered Moe a $5,000 monthly stipend for the rest of his life. But what did Moe have to do in return? Nothing, it was a thank-you gift for his prior accomplishments. Sadly, Moe passed earlier this month, but I'm sure that his last years were more comfortable than otherwise thanks to Acushnet. I have always been a huge fan of Acushnet, but never more so than now.

Monday, September 06, 2004

New Golf Terms

Over the years, golf has developed it's own language. Banana ball, flub, gimmie, worm-burner, and "You da man!" are just a few of the terms and phrases born from the game of golf. Often, these terms spawn subconsciously while on the golf course or in a golf blog.

Such was the case two weeks ago. My good friend Andrew was in town for a week. Living in Japan for the past several years, Andrew was dying to get out on the links for a good dose of golf. So we played a couple of rounds at Brookside, my home course in Los Angeles, CA. He's a very good golfer, but just a little rusty due to inactivity.

On one tee shot he push-sliced his driver far right. He lost it and asked me, "Did you see it?"
"Yeah," I replied. "It's right."
"How far right?"
I quipped, "Tiger right,"

Although Andrew's been out of the country for a while, he still understood the complex meaning of that spontaneously coined two-word phrase. By themselves, these words are rather straightforward. However, when combined, they produce a sophisticated meaning that conveyed the precise location of his ball. He knew that his ball ventured so far right, it landed somewhere in the rough on the next hole. He also knew that his ball settled into a horrific lie behind a wall of trees.

As I walked up to my ball in the middle of the fairway I looked up and spotted Andrew in the distance addressing his ball. Man, being "Tiger right" really sucks.

Monday, August 30, 2004

The Yips, Golf's Worst Enemy?

Until recently, the Yips to me were just the friendly Chinese family that lived down the street.

However, my buddy Anthony recently told me that he was suffering from the putting Yips. I had heard of this golf phenomenon before, but I didn't truly know what it was. According to ongoing research by the Mayo Clinic, the Yips refer to "involuntary motions of the hand or wrist that can make effective putting all but impossible, even for the most experienced and talented of golfers."

As scary as the putting Yips sound, even scarier is the full-swing Yips. This rare disease was detailed in the August 2004 issue of Golf Digest by one of the top American golf instructors, Hank Haney. Hank claims to have suffered from the full-swing Yips for 20 years! He chronicles his long struggle to conceal his ailment while, at the same time, teaching the swing to some of the top players in the world. He says, "I virtually stopped doing clinics that required me to hit drivers." It got so bad that Hank almost stopped playing golf. He reveals, "From late 1985 until 2002, I played fewer than 10 rounds of golf."

However, Hank eventually developed the bane for his demons. He changed his grip, incorporated a bizarre pre-shot waggle and avoided looking at the ball. You read correctly, he found the ball to be distraction to his swing!

The result is one helluva ugly swing. Not Charles Barkley ugly, but pretty damn close.


While I'm happy that Hank can now find the fairways, I question whether this is a guy you want teaching you golf. Especially if you're the best golfer in the world. But there are indications that Tiger has been working with Mr. Haney. Is it just a coincidence that Tiger's downward spiral started at about the same time as his association with the Yip-meister? No way. My theory is that either Hank transmitted the Yips to Tiger, a la Clarke and the shanks, or Tiger had developed the Yips and is seeking help from the guru. Either way, this is not a good thing for the World's #1.

Fortunately, I have yet to experience any form of the Yips. But I know that it's only a matter of time. I've been playing long enough to know that the Golf Gods will hit me with the Yips at precisely the worst moment. Probably right now since I just claimed to have never suffered from it. Is it transmittable through a golf blog? Hopefully, the Mayo clinic will soon develop a vaccine.

Monday, August 23, 2004

Tiger Woods Shanked a Shot!

An incredible thing happened to the best golfer in the world during the 3rd round of last week's NEC Invitational. As usual, Tiger was missing fairways all day. Heck, he missed it so bad on one hole he nailed a poor kid just above his right eye. Not good since Firestone is a course where you must hit the fairway to have any chance for a birdie. So, on the easy 400 yd. par-4 17th hole, Tiger decided to tee off with his ultra-reliable 2-iron to guarantee a fairway.

Well, guess what? He shanked it! In knee-jerk reaction, I yelled, "!" at the TV in gleeful amazement. The ball caroomed right and hit a hospitality tent, startling the poor people inside. They must have thought someone accidentally let a hack onto the course.

Is it any coincidence that Tiger is good friends with ? A coincidence that my last golf blog post covered Mr. Clarke? I think not.

Unfortunately, CBS didn't capture Tiger's ultra-rare disaster on . But here's a post-impact shot:



The next time Tiger says his swing is "close" I hope someone asks him "close to what?" I'm sure we'd all like the answer to that.

Monday, August 16, 2004

SwingVision - Clarke Shank

I have enjoyed countless servings of bangers, haggis and pints O'Guinness at my favorite Irish pub, Lucky Baldwin's. Sadly, I have now decided never to venture there again.

Why? Well, it's not the food or the service. They have some of the best Irish food and drink outside of Dublin and everyone knows that the Irish are some of the nicest people around. No, it's a much more serious concern: the Shanks.

I have begun to suspect that my long bout with this dreadful affliction is a result of my exposure to anything Irish. My hypothesis was confirmed last weekend during the 3rd round of the 2004 PGA Championships at Whistling Straits. Darren Clarke, the top Irish golfer, cold ed his iron on the par-3 17th hole. Not only is it shocking that a professional could hit such a horrendous shot, it continues a remarkable trend:Is it just a coinidence that this guy also part-owns a racing horse named "Shank On Fourteen?" No, it is quite clear that this man is the Lord of the Shanks.

Interestingly, CBS happened to capture Clarke's latest debacle on super-slo-mo "". Check out the ugliest shot in golf:



Key screen shots:

Monday, August 09, 2004

Pete Dye - Sadomasochist of Golf

Lost Canyons and Ocean Trails are two southern CA courses with uncanny similarities. For one, they are both appropriately named. Lost Canyons is where you not only lose your $5 balls, but also your patience, your swing, and evenutally, your game. Ocean Trails is where you spend more time on the ocean trails looking for your lost balls than on the actual course playing golf.

But the main similarity is that these tracks sprung from the mind of the same guy: 78 yr.-old Pete Dye. He makes John Cleese's character in those Titleist NXT commercials look like Mother Theresa.

I mean it's not like golf isn't hard enough. Old Petey kicks it up several notches utilizing every trick in the book:
  • Razor-thin fairways
  • Roller-coaster undulating greens
  • Roller-coaster undulating fairways
  • Monster pot bunkers
  • U.S. Open grade rough
  • Island Greens
  • Blind tee shots
  • Hazards dead in the middle of the fairway
I'm surprised that he still hasn't employed quicksand or land mines in some diabolical manner.

I recently played Ocean Trails with my friend Jen, only because they are running an "all-you-can-play" special for $65 before they close on Aug. 18 to be rebuilt as Trump National Golf Club. Having already suffered through a couple of Dye nightmares in the past, I was ready this time. I knew that lost Pro V1s sprouted out of the rough like weeds, so I only brought Top Flite rocks. Sure enough, I found enough premium balls to last me the rest of the year.

Mentally, I told myself that this would be just a nice walk by the beach, stopping to hit a stupid white ball every now and then. Otherwise, I would have lost my mind trying to shoot a decent score. It worked, and I had a great time.

Well, the pros will have their turn in a Dye torture chamber this week at Petey's Whistling Straits, home to the 86th PGA Championship. I imagine that it will be a great event to watch, since nothing is more entertaining than to watch the pros suffer like your everyday hack.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Tiger Woods Swing Video (First-Person Perspective)

While Tiger's swing seems to be improving, you've got to get a chuckle out of how ultra-sensitive he has become to any analysis of his swing. He now even has his caddy block cameras designed to record swings at PGA events. Obviously, Tiger's swing problems are embarrassing to him.

Not long ago, Tiger Woods welcomed such analysis. It was no coincidence that he was also swinging the club better than Iron Byron.

Do you remember when NBC affixed miniature cameras to the bills of NFL umpires' caps to show their individual viewpoint? Well, someone had the brilliant idea to do the same thing to Tiger's Nike cap at the Williams World Challenge several years ago. Tiger jumped at the opportunity to show the world a perfect swing from a first-person perspective. Cleverly, the viewpoint was dubbed the "Eye of the Tiger."

It was one of the coolest golf broadcast innovations until . Below are some screen shots of Tiger's setup with a 4-iron, 3-wood, and driver, respectively. Check out how the perfect setup should look:




Here's the video of Tiger hitting the 4-iron:

Here's the video of Tiger hitting the driver:


Is this what you see when you address the ball?
I would love to see the current Eye of the Tiger. Only I'm sure that Tiger won't let us. It's just a bit out of focus right now.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Golf Brats

My local golf course runs a summer golf clinic for children ages 6 - 13. I happened to be at the range while some of the kids were hitting balls.

While most of them sucked, there were several really phenomenal swings. One little girl must have been only 8 years-old tops and she had a swing to die for. While she hit her driver only 150 yds., she pured each and every one. She had a great setup, Els-like tempo, and gymnast flexibility. "A young ," you say? Well, that's exactly what I thought.

Unfortunately, watching this future LPGA Hall of Famer only depressed me about my own swing. In fact, after a couple of bad shots I was too embarrassed to continue. I thought, I've been playing this friggin' game for longer than this kid has been alive, and yet she makes me look like I swing the club like Charles Barkeley. Should I quit and just write about golf in a golf blog? I decided to play a round, hoping to find my swing somewhere on the course.

I joined 3 other hackers for a round. Luckily, none of these guys were better than me, so my confidence was bouyed. None of us played well and we were all at least 8 over after 6 holes. The 7th hole is a par 3 and it was backed up as usual. I struck up a conversation among my playing partners about the state of our games. I learned that we were all in the same boat, all of us fruitlessly trying to improve failing golf swings. I felt better knowing that I wasn't the only one to suffer from a "slump."

As we were commiserating with each other, an 8-year kid from the threesome behind us walked up to our teebox and proclaimed ecstatically, "I'm only 2 over after 6 holes!" He had a look on his face that said, "Isn't that great! This game is so easy. Soon I'll be better than Tiger!"

Well, nothing eats at your craw more than someone boasting about their golf game when your's is headed to the sewer. Now you can imagine how much of my craw was left when a kid, who still has 5 years until he can see "," is doing the boasting.

My playing partners were nice enough to praise the kid for his score, but there was no way I was kissing his little arse. I grumbled, "WTF, how the hell could this kid be only 2 over. Is this game really that easy? No way. His parents must be fudging the score to make him feel good." I looked at the kid's parents in disbelief and they only smiled proudly. I rolled my eyes as I set my 8-iron behind my Pro V1.

I struck the ball well, and hit the green. "Nice shot!" exclaimed the little golf devil. I flashed a stupid , but it still didn't make up for this latest cruel stunt pulled by the Golf Gods...

Monday, July 19, 2004

Tiger Woods Swing Changes Missing the Fairway

Tiger Woods only hit half of the fairways during the last round of the British. It continues a long trend and it cost him another tournament. Now I've heard countless opinions why Tiger can't seem to find the fairways. However, I've read the most ridiculous one recently in an article from that sports powerhouse, ESPN. In a nutshell, the writer places most of the blame on Tiger's equipment. That's fine, but incredulously, he manages to pen over 1,000 words explaining the reasons behind Tiger's golf woes without even mentioning Tiger's dramatic swing changes. Can you believe that? How can anyone miss something so obvious and important? Well, someone who doesn't know what they're writing about, that's who.

While I agree that equipment is a big factor in golf performance, I think that it is relatively minor in Tiger's case. Here are some reasons:
  • Tiger is still missing fairways with a Titleist PT 3-wood that he has used for more than 6 years.
  • Tiger rarely hits his 2-iron "stinger" off the tee anymore, a shot that always hit the fairway. Now, when he does hit it, a fairway isn't guaranteed.
  • Tiger went back to the Titleist 975D driver last year at the Battle of The Bridges, only to miss even more fairways.
  • Tiger has an exit clause in his Nike equipment contract that allows him to play any equipment that he wants. So why would he play with any equipment that wasn't best suited for him? Tiger was seen using drivers from other manufacturers (Taylormade, Titleist, etc.) during the "silly"-season last year, so he clearly utilizes this exit clause.
Conclusion from this golf blog: It's the swing, stupid.

My favorite channel recently confirmed Tiger's dramatic swing changes. They compared Tiger's God-like swing of 2001 vs. his current swing. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so check out the next 3,000+ words:



If Tiger was missing fairways with the swing that he had before, then, maybe, his equipment would be to blame. But, as these pictures clearly illustrate, his swing is not the same.

The most dramatic change is Tiger's position at the top. What do you think?

Monday, July 12, 2004

Hoseltov! - A New WMD?

I'll always remember reading about how Tiger's Mizuno MP-14 irons (before he was paid to play equipment) all had a dime-sized wear spots smack dab on the sweet spot. Unfortunately, I've noticed that the wear spots on my irons happen to be all over the face, including the hosel. Yes, the hosel. In other words, I have a bad case of the $hanks(I dare not spell out the actual word as it will certainly spread to you, the reader)!

Anyone who's ever gotten the case of the $hanks, knows the misery of this affliction. Unfortunately, there is no known 100% remedy.

The $hanks hit me for the first time about 2 months ago while I was golfing in San Diego ( and Barona) with some friends. The trip started out great as my "A" game surfaced at the Torrey Pines South Course to produce a legit 84 from the white tees (6,885 yards) in conditions last seen in the movie, "The Perfect Storm." Torrential rain and winds actually halted our play for about an hour. After my magical round, I thanked the Golf Gods and sacrificed one of my Pro V1s to appease them.

The next day, we played Barona. I shared a cart that day with my buddy Anthony, a low single-digit handicap. Things began much like the previous day with my "A" game still intact, carrying me even par through the first two holes. I thought, "Damn, I am finally becoming a good golfer just like Anth!" The Golf Gods must have heard my over-confidence. On the 3rd hole, both me and Anth hit good drives within 10 yards of each other with about 150 yards to the pin. Anth hit first, but shockingly full on $hanked his 7-iron about 20 yards dead right! I stood there in disbelief, wondering how this could happen to such an accomplished golfer. This is a dude who once played on a college golf team. I was thinking, "If the $hanks can happen to Anth, then it could damn well happen to me" as I setup for my next shot. With that thought penetrated deep within my psyche, I also $hanked my 7-iron.

The disease seemed to spread in epidemic fashion as my buddy John exhibited preliminary symptoms on the next hole with a topped fairway wood (it would have been a $hank if fairway woods had exposed hosels). Our friend Larry noticed the rapid spread of the apparent airborne virus and kept a safe distance from all of us. Luckily, he was spared.

At the time, I thought that the $hanks would only be a brief phenomenon. You know, something that would vanish after a good night's rest. I couldn't be more wrong. Virtually every round that I have played since, I have $hanked a shot. I've tried to fix it at the range, only to $hank it with more frequency. Recently, I have nightmares where I'm on course to shoot a 58, only to $hank my approach shot on the last hole into the drink. I think I now have a pretty good idea what Finchy went through in the mid 1990s.

I've heard that President Bush is focused on the development of next generation weapons systems. Based on my experience, I recommend that Bush look at weaponizing the $hanks. It is truly a dangerous and undefeatable force. Look what it did to !

Monday, July 05, 2004

CBS' SwingVision Rules

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, that couldn't be more true for me this past weekend when there was an absence of CBS golf coverage.

Why you ask? Well, who doesn't get a chuckle or two out of David Feherty's and Gary McCord's witty comments? But the real reason is CBS' super-slow motion "SwingVision" swing analysis feature. It's the coolest thing in golf broadcasting since...well let's be honest, there haven't been that many cool innovations in golf broadcasting ever.

SwingVision takes slo-mo and kicks it up a notch. It's able to capture the full golf swing at an astounding 1,000 frames per second (fps)! But what really makes it cooler than other slo-mo features, is that there is a camera solely focused on the ball at impact. You know how they say to with your irons? While it's true, it's probably one of the hardest things to comprehend in the golf swing. I know that it took me a very long time to fully understand the concept. Well, it is instantly understood when you see a close-up of Tiger's 7-iron (my guess) spanking the rock on a descending path and then clipping a shallow divot in textbook fashion:



SwingVision is a great feature that tremendously improves watching golf on TV. I only wish that CBS used it more. And why not? I mean, there's usually enough downtime during a typical golf coverage to fit in a full-length feature film.

Anyway, if there's enough interest, I can try to dig up some more SwingVision screen shots. I think I can get screenshots of Tiger and Els hitting the driver. Please leave comments of what you want to see, and I'll see what I can do. Stay tuned.

P.S. Here's the video of Tiger hitting iron off the tee:



The following are some additional SwingVision-related posts on Grouchy Golf. Eventually, I'll have all the videos available for you to enjoy, so be sure to check back in the future!:















In addition, check out the . It is a great video that gives you an idea of what Tiger Woods sees when he makes his super swing!

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Forged Blades Redux

Having recently switched back to forged muscle-back blade (there are no truly pure blades made anymore) irons, I totally agree with Bob Tway's comment: "You have to be more precise with a forged blade," said Tway, who won the 1986 PGA Championship using cast Ping irons but now uses Mizuno's forged MP-33 blades. He explained:
With a [more forgiving] cast club you can get sloppy with your swing. That creeps into other clubs, like the driver. I think my mechanics have gotten better since I went to forged [blades]. If you look at the top of the money list, they're all playing forged [blades].
I'm a self-taught golfer who learned the game using my grandfather's old Hogan Blades. When I had become a decent golfer (14-handicap) with solid ball-striking ability, I decided that I deserved a new set of irons. Through Callaway propaganda, I became brainwashed into thinking that the best irons were designed to maximize distance with the largest cavity-back and the greatest amount of offset. So, naturally, I bought a new set of Big Bertha irons.

I was crushing the ball at first and I thought that I owned the irons of my dreams. The sweet spot felt like it was all over the clubface. The only drawback of these clubs was a tendency to produce a drawing ball flight. I worked at the range to straighten this out and it seemed fine for a while. However, I soon became aware that I was starting to hit the ball with a slight push-fade. Eventually, that worsened into a severe push-slice. I also noticed that my ball-striking wasn't as "crisp" as before and my divots were inconsistent. I had no clue what was going on and I panicked that I was turning into Ian Baker-Finch. It was inconceivable to me that my problems could have stemmed from my irons since I had believed that they were the best that money could buy.

I now realize that those forgiving super "game-improvement" irons were ruining my golf swing. The wide soles and extremely low center of gravity of the Berthas allowed me to get away with a poor swing. As a result, my once consistently solid ball-striking evaporated. The Bertha's excessively thick top-line and drastic offset wreaked havoc on my setup and alignment. This in turn affected my take-away, backswing, etc. Because these irons are designed to straighten a slice swing (the most common swing flaw for amateurs), they tend to produce a hook for a perfectly sound swing. Therefore, to hit these irons straight, you need to have a slice swing. Unbeknownst to me at the time, these irons were teaching me how to slice!

Like a house of cards, my swing collapsed and my handicap ballooned. According to Ernie Vadersen, a former top designer for Spalding and MacGregor, "Oversize cavity-back clubs allow you to play lazily, and lazy habits promote poor play." Oh how I wish I knew that before I bought those friggin' Callaways!

It took me several years to realize the error of my ways, and now I'm back to playing forged blades. With blades, I instantly feel the difference between a good shot and a bad one. The good shots feel super sweet, while the bad ones punish. This feedback has allowed me to fix many of the swing flaws that I had developed under the Callaway years.

Most people don't like blades because they believe (primarily through marketing) that blades feel harsh. Well, they only feel harsh when you put a bad swing on them. Play with blades and they will force you into a good swing.

As Vadersen says:
...golfers want better feel when they hit the ball. When you hit a ball off the heel or toe of a classic forged [blade] iron, you know immediately, without even looking, that the shot is off. That's vital information. In that respect, no cavity-back club can compare with a forged blade iron. In simplest terms, the forged [blade] club gives you more information. The way I look at it, it's like having someone help you. By that I mean, if you find you are hitting the club on the toe, the computer in your brain will actually start adjusting until you start hitting it on the sweet spot. If you're striking it on the heel, you will eventually automatically make the adjustment to make a better shot. We've learned the best teachers tend to use forged [blade] clubs for this reason. They are teaching you how to make shots, and a good forged blade, because of the information it imparts, aids in that process — a game-improvement iron in the end.
Remember, it's easy to hit a target with a shotgun, but it will never help you become a SWAT team sniper. Still, blades aren't for everybody. If you are having too much difficulty hitting them, traditional-styled cavity-back or "player's" irons will still allow you to develop and maintain proper swing mechanics. At the very least, you should have a blade or two to practice at the range to stay sharp. But I must emphasize, avoid the super "game-improvement" irons like the Callaway Big Berthas and the Nike Slingshots if you really want to improve your game.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

Adam Scott's Swing, The White Tiger

Did you happen to watch the Booz Allen Classic at the TPC at Avenel on ABC this weekend?

Well, Tiger's almost perfect golf swing from 2000-2001 finally resurfaced. Only it wasn't Tiger Woods that was swinging the club. It was the young Aussie, Adam Scott.

Those who follow the PGA over the last several years know about the similarities between Adam and Tiger's golf swing.



Their swings are often described as "textbook." But it has always been that Adam's swing plays second fiddle to that of Tiger's.

However, it is clear as day that Adam is swinging the club much better than Tiger right now. I mean the dude from down under smoked a 2-iron 320 yards straight down the fairway on the par 4 12th. Yes, 320 yards. In fact, Adam is swinging it better than anyone else period. Why? Well Adam is doing many of the things that Tiger did in 2000. Namely, he's working with Butch Harmon. Butch is getting Adam in the perfect setup and they are obviously working on all the right things.

What about Tiger? To start, he's not working with Butch. Instead he's working on his own. Well it seems that he's working on getting worse. In his pro career, he's never been so wild off the tee as he is now. Mysteriously, he now seems to believe that the best ball flight is a slight draw rather than his natural controlled fade. Sound familiar? That's the same theory followed by his best golf buddy, O'Meara. O'Meara is best known as a two-time major winner. But soon he'll be known as the guy who ruined the best swing in golf. Well, him and his partner in crime, .

If it wasn't already clear that Butch is the best swing coach in the world, Adam has now confirmed it (along with Pavin's resurgence). If Tiger wants to regain his former dominance, he should swallow his ego and dial 1-800-BUTCHIE.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Tiger Woods = Frankie?

Tiger Woods vs. Butch Harmon

So the saga continues between the 2 most stubborn people in golf.

I actually saw the Sky Sports television Butch Harmon interview video during the 2004 U.S. Open where he says that he believes Tiger Woods is in "bit of denial."

However, Butch was simply responding to the host's original question of whether Tiger was in denial. Butch was asked his opinion and he gave it. In fact, he stated upfront and clearly that it was his opinion. I thought his opinions weren't harsh at all. I think they may appear harsh in text and out of context, but not when you see the interview footage.

Johnny Miller later commented on NBC that Butch's comments were rather benign and I wholeheartedly agree. Sports commentators are paid voice their opinions, and that's all Butch did. The last thing I want is a non-commenting commentator.

Surprisingly, Tiger took very strong offense to Butch's comments. Factor in that Tiger has his caddie Steve Williams obstruct slo-mo cameras intended to analyze swings during tournaments, raid the gallery for cameras and other acts of thugery, it really appears that Tiger is turning into Frankie from MTV's The Real World.

Once Tiger sports a lip ring and freaks out at the sight of large boats, I'll know the transformation is complete. I'll be sure to notify you when it happens.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Golf and eBay

According to Golf World, golf is one of the hottest categories on eBay.

Indeed, eBay has changed my life.

Where else can you bid to play a round with Tiger Woods?

Over the last year or so, I've been buying virtually all of my golf equipment on eBay. Of course, you have to be careful of , but the convenience and savings are truly amazing.

It all started about 3 years ago when I eBayed a new Ping driver with a custom UST Proforce shaft. What would have cost me at least $300 at retail, cost me $200 delivered to my door.

4 months ago, I eBayed a set of brand new Nike Forged Blade Irons with Rifle shafts for $450 delivered. That set would have cost at least $550 at retail before tax and shipping.

Most recently I eBayed a used 34" Scotty Cameron Mil-Spec Putter for $150 delivered. It was in "almost new" condition that sold new for $250 at retail.

Of course, not everything is a bargain. I routinely see special edition Scotty Cameron Putter headcovers exchange hands for $400 and more. Yes, that's correct, headcovers worth more than the putters that they house. If you're going to spend that much money on a headcover, shouldn't you protect it with a putter headcover cover? I guess you could, but I bet those would go for at least $800. Hey, I think I just discovered my next great business idea!

Unfortunately, I still haven't been able to buy a good golf swing on eBay...

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Burgers, Phil, and Golf

Phil sure does love those In-N-Out burgers.

While I'm only temporarily sick of In-N-Out (I work within a block away from one), it seems that I'll always be sick of Phil "Meek"elson. In particular, I'm sick of his stupid expressions on the course.

I mean he always looks like some clueless guy that they pulled out of the gallery who was suddenly annointed golf super powers. I can see how the first time it can be considered somewhat endearing (still stretching it). But, for chissakes, when he still acts the same way after several hundred tournaments it's downright annoying.

The final round of the 2004 Masters drove me nuts, as you can imagine. But I took guilty pleasure that lost the 2004 U.S. Open at Shinnecock on the 17th Hole in typical Phil-choke-fashion. However, not even that monumental calamity could wipe that stupid smirk off his face! What on earth will it take?

Somehow I'm sure that if the world was ablaze on its way to Hell, "Mick the Choke" will be smiling the whole way...

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Hello World! The Golf Gods Strike Tiger

Welcome to the first post of my golf site, Grouchy Golf. I started this site to opine about my passion. I hope that you enjoy it and maybe even learn a thing or two. I greatly value any feedback that you can provide. This site is fueled by reader comments, so please, take a couple of seconds to jot down your thoughts about anything regarding this site. Thanks, and now onto my first posting...

Golf is such a love and hate sport. Just look at Tiger Woods. For about 5 years he simply dominated the sport. I mean the dude was winning majors by double digit stroke margins! Now, due to a microscopic tweak in his swing, he's been reduced to "Good" as opposed to "Jesus of Golf" PGA player status.

As a result, everyone and their moms are dissecting Tiger's swing and trying to offer swing advice. In fact, my mom recently told me that she thinks Tiger's swing is way out of "synch" and noticed that his clubface at the top tends to be shut. She observed that on the downswing, Tiger is coming too much on top of the ball, which occasionally produces an open clubface at impact causing the ball to push right.

Jeez, I can't think of anything else that could drive Tiger to the looney bin faster. Well, that and losing to in 2 consecutive Majors.