A Tip for Playing Golf from the Tips

Playing golf is fraught with mega-annoyances. One of the biggest is when high-handicap hackers feel the macho need to play from the longest tees, otherwise known as the "tips."

Isn't golf hard enough? I just don't understand why so many golfers want to make the game needlessly harder than it has to be. It's fine to be a sadomasochist on the golf course, but don't bring your pain to others. That's exactly what happens when hacks play from the "tips." It slows the pace of play down to a crawl. Even Ben Crane would be miffed.

I endured an especially trying round once when the foursome in front of me all played from the "tips." After the first 3 tee shots traveled a total of 100 yards at most, I rolled my eyes knowing that these clowns were going to make me late for my haircut appointment. As I was tapping my barber's number into my cell phone, a small sonic boom interrupted my call. It came from the driver of the 4th guy. He smashed his drive well over 280 into the fairway.

Over the next several holes, it became apparent that the foursome in front of us was comprised of the Italian Tiger Woods ("ITW") and the 3 Stooges. The handicap difference between the ITW and the best Stooge must have been at least 25 strokes. While I was irked that there were 3 hacks playing from the "tips," I was more annoyed at the ITW. Of all the people on the golf course, the ITW should know that his playing partners shouldn't be playing from those tees. It was obvious that they all knew each other, so there's no reason why the ITW couldn't have told them to play from the shorter tees.

The more I thought about it, the more I became incensed. I realized that the 3 Stooges probably didn't know any better. They were so bad, they must have just started to learn the game. In such a case, it's the more experienced golfer's responsibility to teach proper golf etiquette to the novices. The ITW knew that their foursome would be holding up play and he just didn't care. In addition, the ITW made the game less enjoyable for his partners because of the additional difficulty. But even worse, the 3 Stooges will believe that they should play from the "tips" every time, perpetuating the problem.

If you're not sure which tees are appropriate for your skill level, for the sake of mankind (or at least the golfers who play after you), please ask the starter. If one isn't available, most score cards indicate the handicap range appropriate for each tee position. I'd write more, but I'm just too friggin' upset right now to continue...