Tuesday, November 29, 2005

One Funked Up Skins Game

This time of year is usually a good one for sports fans. Both the NBA and the NFL are in full swing. Unfortunately, my favorite teams, the Lakers and the Raiders, blow harder than Moby Dick.

I'd look to golf for my sports fix, but the season is done and only so-called "silly" events remain. These made for TV events usually only leave me in a state of ennui. Probably the most well known of these events is last weekend's Skins Game played at Trilogy Golf Club. I've actually played this course and it's probably the least challenging golf course in Palm Springs. Heck, I almost shot par on this course! The fairways are almost as wide as they are long and the rough is not rough at all. It's obviously a golf course designed for the geriatric set. Unfortunately, when the pros play the course, it becomes a pitch 'n putt. Real interesting.

After watching two days of this event, I've determined that the Skins Game is just as effective as Ambien without any of the adverse side affects. The organizers of this event always try to do something special to generate interest. Unfortunately, I don't think that they have ever been successful.

This year, the gimmick was to include one of the shortest drivers on the PGA, Fred Funk alongside Fred Couples and the #1 players on the PGA and LPGA. Poor Fred Funk was used as the laughing stock of golf. I guess organizers were hoping that Annika Sorenstam outdriving the Funkster would generate viewer interest. The announcers and players were sure eager to yuck it up. Guess what? It didn't fly for me. All I saw was a 49 year-old guy suffer undeserved and total humiliation. The Funkmaster lost all remaining semblance of dignity when he donned a skirt on the 3rd hole! It was just too painful to watch. But that novelty wore off fast, and it was back to golf, boring golf. Funky seems like a really nice guy, but I think that I'd rather watch my neighbor's dog chase it's own tale.

If the organizers of the Skins Game really want to make their event interesting, maybe they should make it a skins game, literally. For next year's Skins Game, my suggestion is to have Natalie Gulbis and Sophie Sandolo play against each other in bikinis. They didn't mind stripping down for their respective calendars, so why not do the same on the golf course? Organizers could rename the event to something like, "Showing Some Skin for Some Skins" and just watch the ratings skyrocket. People who have never watched a lick of golf in their life will tune in by the boatloads, I guarantee it. At the very least, it's sure to be be much more interesting than watching a woman outdrive a man by a couple of yards! That's just downright silly.

6 comments:

CB said...

The Lakers and the Raiders?!?!

I am so disappointed.

Golf Grouch said...

CB,

I'm just a product of my environment...

Anonymous said...

so what if he got out driven by a girl. he won all the scrilla.

Anonymous said...

You beat me to that one punk. My thoughts exactly.

But let's make sure "certain" LPGA players are NOT in the mix before we establish that format!

woundedduck said...

You would have to consider all LPGA players--what better drama could you imagine than a putt that might lead to Patti Hearst taking off her shirt? Plus, what fun is there in watching Gulbis strip down to a bikini--she's such a shameless self promoter, you know she's dying to show some skin.

Stefanio said...

My game is bad enough, without that type of distraction...... then again I wouldn't mind spending so much time thrashing about in the rough fnarr fnarr!