Sunday, April 01, 2007

A Golden Tee for Distance?

I recently had the opportunity to chat with Jack Mehoffer, VP of marketing at Hanso Golf, regarding their latest product introduction. It's called "Golden Tees", and they represent the latest in golf tee technology.

Golf Grouch: What are they?

Jack Mehoffer:
In short, Golden Tees provide the lowest Static Coefficient of Friction between a golf ball and a tee. In layman's terms, these tees are scientifically proven to provide the least resistance between the golf ball and tee. As a result, the ball will travel farther.

What does this mean for golfers?


Research conducted by our Head of R&D, Rod Stiffington, indicates that Golden Tees can increase driving distance 10% or more. So a golfer with an average driving distance of 250 yards can expect a 25 yard increase by simply switching to the Golden Tee.

How do they work?


The wooden golf tee has been used universally since its commercial introduction in the 1920s. Unfortunately, the coefficient of friction from wood is very high, especially against the new urethane-covered golf balls. Metals offer much lower coefficients of friction, but you can't make 100% metal golf tees because they damage clubs and lawn mower blades. Golden Tees offer the benefit of metal contact with the golf ball, but without the drawbacks of 100% metal golf tees. In addition, we are utilizing the metal with the lowest coefficient of friction against urethane, gold."

Are you using real gold?


Yes, we only utilize 24K gold. We try to minimize the cost by only coating the contact areas with gold. In addition, we've developed a patent-pending electroplating technology to apply a layer of gold onto the contact area about 100 microns thick. That's about the thickness of a human hair.

What is the availability and retail price?

Golden Tees can be found soon at specialty golf retailers for $10 a tee or a package of 50 for $450. We think that this is a small price to pay for a 10% increase in driving distance.

Who's using them?

The best players in the world will be teeing up with Golden Tees at this week's Masters. Look for them on TV! Interestingly, Golden Tees are also becoming a favorite among major Hip Hop artists such as Snoop Dogg, Kanye West and P. Diddy. Apparently, they love the "bling".

What's next?

Well, we're constantly looking for ways to minimize the friction between the golf ball and tee. We have already developed prototypes of tees utilizing the material with the lowest coefficient of friction. Care to guess what that might be?

I have no idea.


It's ice. We are tentatively calling the product "Iced Tee". They are currently undergoing hot weather testing in the Mojave desert. Unfortunately, it appears that there are still some snags that we must overcome before we bring it to market.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

hah hah! Great article; nearly as good as the Tiger's sis-in law April fool last time :)

Anonymous said...

THE GOLF CHANNEL NEEDS TO GET SOME TALENT.

AM I THE ONLY GUY OUT THERE THAT IS SCRATCHING HIS HEAD EVERYTIME "INGA DINGA" HAMMOND GETS AIR TIME? WHERE DID THEY FIND HER? - TGC NEEDS TO START SPENDING FOR TALENT - ACT LIKE A FIRST CLASS CABLE NETWORK - CUT THE TIES WITH HACKS LIKE KRAIG KAHN AND STOP BRINGING IN BURNOUTS LIKE INGA DINGA AND FRANK "NO JUICE" NOBILO.

COMMENTS ANYONE?

Anonymous said...

why kraig kahn?

why kraig kahn?
why? why? why?
he can’t connect with anyone
he ain’t the guy

tgc now in uberspace
big tim gave you the nod
time to find them that keep the pace
time to tell him he’s out of place

kraig claims he’s the “traffic cop”
keeps the engine runn’in high
moves the players in ‘an out
makes the ladies cry

but he don’t click with a single soul
can’t seem to find the beat
when the broadcasts’ revving in overdrive
drives it into the peat

when will you realize he needs to go?
perhaps to the nationwide beat
golf nation is yours and yours to blow
let big tim know you want the driver’s seat

Anonymous said...

I'm also scratching my head - where did they find Inga?

You would think the golf channel would have a lot of money to spend on talent since they charge us 1 commercial plus 1 promo per golf shot! When Arnie finishes those dumb commercials - maybe he'll take a look at the whole operation.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm. Those "Brush T" ads are really starting to bother you, aren't they? :oD

Anonymous said...

maybe brush tee can meet up with perfect club - kessler = perfect club, kahn = brush tee , and tgc can recruit some real talent and all will be well in golfdom