The Sport With the Most Ridiculous Rules

I have always thought that the creator of the Rules of Golf must have been some sort of mentally challenged sport sadomasochist. Isn't the feat of rolling a ball into a tiny hole from hundreds of yards away using only sticks hard enough by itself? I guess not because there are a plethora of rules to make this darn sport even more difficult.

All the golf rules ruckus right now is over Dustin Johnson's 2-stroke penalty for grounding a club in a hazard during the PGA Championship at Whistling Straits. The controversy is that Dustin failed to recognize that his ball lay in a bunker because the crowd had been standing in it and trampled it down. Sure, it wasn't clear that his ball lay in a bunker, but it was a bunker none the less. Because he grounded his club prior to his shot, he violated USGA Rule 13-4: Ball in Hazard; Prohibited Actions of the Rules of Golf.

However, my problem isn't with the determination of a bunker or other hazard on a golf course. My beef is that there is a rule about grounding your club in the first place! Grounding your club is just a natural resting spot for your club before you swing. Why should it be any different in a hazard? Isn't it penal enough to have your ball lay in a hazard? But more to the point, is there really any advantage to grounding your club? It's not like you're allowed to tee the ball up. I have been playing this godforsaken game for over 15 years and not once did I feel that not grounding my club in a hazard materially affected my shot. I'm sure that Dustin would have had the same result with his 2nd shot on hole #18 if he had not grounded his club in the bunker. The rule prohibiting grounding of the club anywhere is just asinine to me and is just one of the many rules that should be stricken from the Rules of Golf.

In the end, this is just another instance of why golf is often the laughingstock amongst the sporting world.

Is There a Free Drop From the Propeller?

To take advantage of the 4th of July weekend half day Friday, my friend and I scheduled an after-work tee time at our favorite local executive muni, Penmar in Venice, CA. It's a great little track that is always in great shape with lots of challenging holes. The only real downside to this course is that it is located within a stone throws away from Santa Monica Municipal Airport. Lots of small planes take off right over the golf course and can be a distraction. But after a while you get used to it and accept it as just background noise.

The night before our tee time we were shocked to discover that a small plane had crashed near the 8th hole. Apparently, the student pilot lost power on his ascent and the plane dropped like a rock. Unfortunately, he died but luckily no one else was hurt since golfers were still on the course. I guess it was bound to happen.

I assumed that the course would be closed the following day after such a tragic accident. However, we called the next morning about our tee time and the grumpy starter told us it was business as usual. They had already removed the wreckage! We played our round and indeed the only evidence of the crash was broken tree limbs and that police yellow tape surrounding the area. Air traffic was normal, if not even more busy than usual. It's just amazing how quickly things can return to normalcy.

Tiger Getting Mickelsonized?

Tiger finally returned to golf at the 2010 Masters. After a humiliating scandal, it was obvious Tiger had to change his ways in the public eye to win back certain golf fans. And that's what he did. Tiger walked without blinders on, acknowledged the crowd at every opportunity with that Cheshire Cat smile, accepted gifts from kids, and actually signed some autographs. In other words, he was acting like Phil Mickelson.

"Acting" is the key word. The whole world now knows that Tiger isn't such a great guy. But I never thought that he was to begin with. Now that he's suddenly become Mr. Nice Guy on the course, it strikes me as completely disingenuous. Are people really buying this crap?

But the vast majority of people are suckered into a public image. Phil Mickelson has made a career of it. I have a golf buddy who is a member of Whisper Rock Golf Club in Scottsdale, AZ. Mickelson happens to be a fellow member. According to my friend, the real Mickelson is 180 degrees from his carefully-crafted public persona. I've heard stories that will rock any Mickelson fanboy's world.

What I liked about the old Tiger was that his public persona was reflective of his true personality. The old Tiger was a cold, focused and ruthless competitor full of "I'm the best ever" confidence. In short, I prefer wolves without sheep's clothing. Phil is just covered in wool.

But how does this all translate into cold hard cash? Contrary to what many believe, Tiger raked in the mega sponsorship dollars because he won and won in unbelievable fashion, not because of some wholesome family-guy image. If that were the case, guys like Zach Johnson, Kenny Perry and Steve Stricker would be the faces of corporate America. The proof will be when Tiger goes back to his winning ways. I bet the sponsorship money will return en masse.

Golf Gods Strike Mickelson?

During the final round of the 2010 Masters, a strange thing happened to FIGJAM Phil. On the par-5 second hole, Mickelson rolled a birdie putt on the perfect line to the hole. But just as he putt, a piece of debris landed directly on the line and threw the ball off course.

Coincidence? I think not. The announcers claim it came from a pine tree, but there wasn't a tree within 100 yards of the hole and the wind was calm. I think that the Golf Gods were watching from above and dropped a morsel from their party mix onto the green. Whether it was by accident or intentional, it certainly came from those heavenly arbiters of the game! Regardless, it's just further evidence of their existence.

See it for yourself:



But in the end, the Golf Gods struck down Tiger for his Philandering ways by letting his arch-nemesis win his favorite major.